I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships - scratch that. I've recently come to the conclusion that happy marriages only exist in fairytales. What happens is, girl meets boy, girl really likes boy (perhaps vice versa), girl falls in love with boy (or vice versa, or they fall in love with each other or girl falls in love with girl (whatever your into)). Then, evil monster named distrust, insecurity, lust for a hotter boy/girl, random yearning to find oneself, peeks its ugly head, girl(boy) gets her heart broken, bitter hatred ensues.
This conclusion I've come to rests on some pretty simple premises.
1) Love is a byproduct of chance - you can't help it. "Falling" is the operative verb people use when discussing love in at least 3 languages/cultures (that I know of and maybe more... I wouldn't be surprised) for a reason. Why? Cause, people can't control with who, when, how they're gonna fall in love. If you're a sharp thinker with perceptive analytical reading skills you can probably already see the problem with this. I could fall in love with Butch the Trash man from Idaho tomorrow and it would throw everything out of whack. I'd have quit school, tattooed "Butch's" on my left breast and booked the next bus ticket out of Hartford before you could say, 'no future'. I can't really choose to fall in love with J. S. Redding Stanley, the singular black, Tyson Beckford look alike who graduated from Yale undergrad, Harvard Law and Business and happens to have a 2.3 million dollar trust fund specifically put aside for the girl from Philly he falls in love with. There isn't even a guarantee that I'll fall in love with that normal guy, with that normal job, who I can make a normal family with. It could very well be Butch whom cupid decides should be mine forever, trash juice and all. And that has it's obvious implications. Assuming fate doesn't bless everyone with Mr. Stanley, love at the very least can be an inconvenience but at the very worst, an invitation to hell without an optional RSVP.
2) Love is a force. I think the previous Butch scenario pretty explicitly exemplifies how much of a driving force love can be. I like to consider myself pretty intelligent. I've been educated at some of the countries most prestigious institutions of academia. I like to think I'm pretty well grounded with a solid head on my shoulders. Only something colossal like, I dunno - A Tsunami, Cancer, my Parents Getting Divorced After 30 Years of Marriage or wait... LOVE could knock me off course enough to give it all up and elope with Butch. So yeah, It's pretty up there.
I realize though that Butch is just a scenario and there's a chance that you are slightly dubious that LOVE could be that impacting. Well look, if you wanna be all naive, I'll tell you what Bon Jovi told you. By all means, "Don't Stop Believing". But like... the proof is in the pudding. Look at Brittany Spears and Kevin Ferderline. Do I really need to expound? A little less obvious an example is Halle Berry and Eric Benet. Seemingly, they were a pretty likely couple. Cupid/Fate did them well right? He's hot, she's hot. They're both pretty loaded and seem like sweet good people. Underlying it all is Eric's sex problem. You can argue that Halle didn't know about his sex addiction before she married him. In my opinion, That's Bullllshit! There's no way you wouldn't be able to tell if your husband is addicted to sex. She still married him, despite all the freaky, weird shit he HAD to be into. Why? She didn't really have a choice. She was in love.
Not convinced? What about Magic. He got AIDS from CHEATING on his Wife, and did Cookie tell him to take his penis and fuck off? Nope. She stayed right there with nothing but latex and cocktails to brighten her future - and I'm not talking about alcoholic ones. Surveying the situation from my perspective, I'd be hard-pressed to put myself in her shoes. And I'm saying this in light of all the new sensational condoms they didn't even have when Cookie and Magic got married. The Trojans they had back then were plainly and simply, WACK and there would be NO chance of me staying with magic... No chance that is unless I was.... IN LOVE! You see now? The Force is alive.
3. Finally, People are fickle. Marriage by definition involves a life time of commitment to ONE person. Monogamy. In today's world, there aren't many things that last for longer than 5 years. Think about it? College - 4 years. Grad school - 2-3. People in today's society are likely to switch jobs something like 5 to 6 times throughout their careers. And that's an average of a "successful man or woman" in the work force. There's probably some man or woman out there who has had like 20 different jobs. I having a hard time sitting still long enough to write this blog. So a lifetime? of dedication? Selfless devotion to another person? Sacrifice? For a Lifetime? To someone who might get fat, old, wrinkly? Who might catch an attitude or have unsolved emotional issues? Someone who might stop giving head or be sexually satisfying? Someone who might stop cooking every night? Some one who might start to scratch their balls and watch sport just a little too much? FOREVER?
Let's be realistic folks. Jump offs are the way to go.
This conclusion I've come to rests on some pretty simple premises.
1) Love is a byproduct of chance - you can't help it. "Falling" is the operative verb people use when discussing love in at least 3 languages/cultures (that I know of and maybe more... I wouldn't be surprised) for a reason. Why? Cause, people can't control with who, when, how they're gonna fall in love. If you're a sharp thinker with perceptive analytical reading skills you can probably already see the problem with this. I could fall in love with Butch the Trash man from Idaho tomorrow and it would throw everything out of whack. I'd have quit school, tattooed "Butch's" on my left breast and booked the next bus ticket out of Hartford before you could say, 'no future'. I can't really choose to fall in love with J. S. Redding Stanley, the singular black, Tyson Beckford look alike who graduated from Yale undergrad, Harvard Law and Business and happens to have a 2.3 million dollar trust fund specifically put aside for the girl from Philly he falls in love with. There isn't even a guarantee that I'll fall in love with that normal guy, with that normal job, who I can make a normal family with. It could very well be Butch whom cupid decides should be mine forever, trash juice and all. And that has it's obvious implications. Assuming fate doesn't bless everyone with Mr. Stanley, love at the very least can be an inconvenience but at the very worst, an invitation to hell without an optional RSVP.
2) Love is a force. I think the previous Butch scenario pretty explicitly exemplifies how much of a driving force love can be. I like to consider myself pretty intelligent. I've been educated at some of the countries most prestigious institutions of academia. I like to think I'm pretty well grounded with a solid head on my shoulders. Only something colossal like, I dunno - A Tsunami, Cancer, my Parents Getting Divorced After 30 Years of Marriage or wait... LOVE could knock me off course enough to give it all up and elope with Butch. So yeah, It's pretty up there.
I realize though that Butch is just a scenario and there's a chance that you are slightly dubious that LOVE could be that impacting. Well look, if you wanna be all naive, I'll tell you what Bon Jovi told you. By all means, "Don't Stop Believing". But like... the proof is in the pudding. Look at Brittany Spears and Kevin Ferderline. Do I really need to expound? A little less obvious an example is Halle Berry and Eric Benet. Seemingly, they were a pretty likely couple. Cupid/Fate did them well right? He's hot, she's hot. They're both pretty loaded and seem like sweet good people. Underlying it all is Eric's sex problem. You can argue that Halle didn't know about his sex addiction before she married him. In my opinion, That's Bullllshit! There's no way you wouldn't be able to tell if your husband is addicted to sex. She still married him, despite all the freaky, weird shit he HAD to be into. Why? She didn't really have a choice. She was in love.
Not convinced? What about Magic. He got AIDS from CHEATING on his Wife, and did Cookie tell him to take his penis and fuck off? Nope. She stayed right there with nothing but latex and cocktails to brighten her future - and I'm not talking about alcoholic ones. Surveying the situation from my perspective, I'd be hard-pressed to put myself in her shoes. And I'm saying this in light of all the new sensational condoms they didn't even have when Cookie and Magic got married. The Trojans they had back then were plainly and simply, WACK and there would be NO chance of me staying with magic... No chance that is unless I was.... IN LOVE! You see now? The Force is alive.
3. Finally, People are fickle. Marriage by definition involves a life time of commitment to ONE person. Monogamy. In today's world, there aren't many things that last for longer than 5 years. Think about it? College - 4 years. Grad school - 2-3. People in today's society are likely to switch jobs something like 5 to 6 times throughout their careers. And that's an average of a "successful man or woman" in the work force. There's probably some man or woman out there who has had like 20 different jobs. I having a hard time sitting still long enough to write this blog. So a lifetime? of dedication? Selfless devotion to another person? Sacrifice? For a Lifetime? To someone who might get fat, old, wrinkly? Who might catch an attitude or have unsolved emotional issues? Someone who might stop giving head or be sexually satisfying? Someone who might stop cooking every night? Some one who might start to scratch their balls and watch sport just a little too much? FOREVER?
Let's be realistic folks. Jump offs are the way to go.
